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O que é autoestima?

Muitas vezes, somos levados a acreditar que ter uma autoestima saudável significa ser alguém que “tem tudo sob controle”. Pensamos que essas pessoas não sofrem, não enfrentam dificuldades, são sempre gentis, nunca se irritam e raramente demonstram fraqueza. Supomos que jamais agirão de forma inadequada ou serão vistas como antissociais.

No entanto, autoestima não nasce da conformidade social. Ela não se constrói assumindo o papel de uma Supermulher ou Superman, reprimindo emoções e buscando agradar a todo custo família, religião, escola ou trabalho.

Na verdade, autoestima é simplesmente autoestima. Mas o que é o “Self”? É a nossa essência mais autêntica, aquilo que realmente somos. Como explicou Carl Jung, trata-se de nossa alma, nossa verdade mais profunda – não em um sentido religioso específico, mas como a base silenciosa da personalidade.

Mesmo que nem sempre saibamos expressar essa essência, sentimos quando estamos conectados a ela. Nos sentimos enraizados, capazes de reconhecer, nomear e lidar com emoções difíceis. E, acima de tudo, temos a confiança de que, aconteça o que acontecer, encontraremos um caminho.

Isso não significa que nunca nos sentimos ansiosos, tristes, confusos ou arrependidos. Emoções fazem parte da experiência humana, e o Self é a própria essência da humanidade.

Autoestima não é ausência de sentimentos, mas a aceitação de nossa verdadeira natureza. Precisamos nos livrar da ideia de que ser forte significa negar emoções. Autoestima é se reconhecer como digno, respeitar-se e permitir-se ser real.

Ela também não se define pelos valores familiares ou sociais. Muitos que possuem autoestima sólida vieram de lares disfuncionais, onde precisaram se desprender de crenças limitantes para descobrir quem realmente são. Além disso, mesmo em ambientes saudáveis, autoestima não pode ser concedida por ninguém – ela é construída internamente.

Não é o ambiente em si que cria autoestima, mas sim o processo de encontrar e viver de acordo com o próprio Eu autêntico.

A autoestima nasce da convicção de que nosso valor é inerente, não condicionado à aprovação social. Somos dignos simplesmente porque existimos. Nunca questionamos o valor de um animal ou de uma árvore por serem como são, mas tendemos a julgar o valor dos humanos com base em padrões arbitrários.

Embora seja necessário responsabilizar aqueles que desrespeitam as leis, isso não os torna indignos. Todo ser humano possui um Self que pode ser encontrado e vivido.

Só podemos realmente estimar quem somos quando nos permitimos viver nossa verdade. Não há maior forma de autoestima do que honrar nossa própria essência.

Como fortalecer a autoestima?

1. Pratique o Autoconhecimento

  • Reconheça suas qualidades: Faça uma lista de suas habilidades, conquistas e características positivas. Revisite essa lista sempre que se sentir inseguro.
  • Identifique seus valores: Entenda o que é realmente importante para você e alinhe suas ações a esses valores.
  • Aceite suas imperfeições: Ninguém é perfeito, e reconhecer isso ajuda a reduzir a autocrítica excessiva.

2. Cuide da Sua Saúde Física e Mental

  • Exercite-se regularmente: A atividade física libera endorfinas, que melhoram o humor e a autoconfiança.
  • Alimente-se bem: Uma dieta equilibrada contribui para o bem-estar físico e emocional.
  • Durma o suficiente: O descanso adequado é essencial para a saúde mental e a autoestima.
  • Pratique mindfulness: Meditação e técnicas de respiração ajudam a reduzir a ansiedade e a aumentar a autopercepção positiva.

3. Estabeleça Metas Realistas

  • Defina objetivos alcançáveis e celebre cada conquista, por menor que seja.
  • Divida metas grandes em etapas menores para evitar a sensação de sobrecarga.
  • Acompanhe seu progresso e reconheça o esforço que você está fazendo.

4. Cultive Relacionamentos Saudáveis

  • Cerque-se de pessoas positivas: Relacionamentos que oferecem apoio e encorajamento são fundamentais para a autoestima.
  • Estabeleça limites: Aprenda a dizer “não” quando necessário e evite pessoas tóxicas que minam sua confiança.
  • Pratique a gratidão: Reconheça e agradeça as pessoas que contribuem para sua vida de forma positiva.

5. Desafie Pensamentos Negativos

  • Identifique crenças limitantes: Pergunte-se se seus pensamentos negativos são baseados em fatos ou em medos.
  • Substitua críticas por afirmações positivas: Em vez de pensar “Eu não sou bom o suficiente”, tente “Eu estou aprendendo e melhorando a cada dia”.
  • Pratique a autocompaixão: Trate-se com a mesma gentileza e compreensão que você ofereceria a um amigo.

6. Invista em Seu Desenvolvimento Pessoal

  • Aprenda algo novo: Adquirir novas habilidades aumenta a confiança e a sensação de competência.
  • Leia livros ou faça cursos sobre autoestima: O conhecimento pode ajudar a mudar perspectivas e comportamentos.
  • Busque terapia: Um psicólogo pode ajudar a trabalhar questões profundas que afetam a autoestima.

7. Cuide da Sua Aparência (de Forma Saudável)

  • Vista-se de maneira que faça você se sentir bem.
  • Mantenha hábitos de higiene e cuidados pessoais que reforcem sua autoimagem.
  • Lembre-se de que a aparência não define seu valor, mas cuidar de si é um ato de autocuidado e auto-respeito.

8. Ajude os Outros

  • Fazer algo por alguém pode aumentar a sensação de propósito e valor pessoal.
  • Voluntariado ou pequenos gestos de gentileza podem fortalecer a autoestima ao reconhecer seu impacto positivo no mundo.

9. Evite Comparações

  • Lembre-se de que cada pessoa tem sua própria jornada, e comparar-se com os outros só gera frustração.
  • Foque em seu próprio crescimento e progresso, sem se preocupar com padrões externos.

10. Celebre Suas Conquistas

  • Reconheça e comemore suas vitórias, por menores que sejam.
  • Mantenha um diário de gratidão ou um registro de conquistas para revisitar nos momentos de dúvida.

Dunlhyan Arruda

Escritor e Acadêmico de Psicologia

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